


Blood May Be Thicker Than Water, But Can It Win With A Frozen Parfait?

by Mephale



Category: Gintama
Genre: Found Family, Gen, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, Self-Harm, Shinpachi appears for a short second but kinda helps save the day, Yoshiwara in Flames Aftermath, some tiny liberties with canon were taken
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-30
Updated: 2020-08-30
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:41:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26201320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mephale/pseuds/Mephale
Summary: Kagura is very much not okay with what happened in Yoshiwara. Gintoki wants to help, even if he doesn't understand what's going on.
Relationships: Kagura & Sakata Gintoki
Comments: 6
Kudos: 40





	Blood May Be Thicker Than Water, But Can It Win With A Frozen Parfait?

**Author's Note:**

> So this is what has been sitting in my brain for a while now! I understand why anime and manga don't have time to give us something like that, but I wanted to explore how these two could have dealt with the aftermath of the whole situation.
> 
> English isn't my first language, so please, be understanding while diving in.

Housen is dead, Yoshiwara is safe, and Gintoki’s wounds are finally healing. He’s always been a fast healer, the numerous scrapes and bruises being more of an annoyance than a real issue. Admittedly, this particular fight was rough on his body... But everything is going back to normal now.

Should be going back to normal. Except it’s not.

At this point he’s used to the constant background of Kagura shuffling around, munching on pickled seaweed, humming a tune off-key under her nose. It’s one of those things that tell him he’s home now, along with Ketsuno Ana’s smile on the TV screen and the banner about minding his sugar levels accompanied by inhaled in record time parfait. That’s what home is supposed to be. But it’s been eerily quiet these days.

It’s not that Kagura’s not home, but she’s definitely less lively. Instead of bouncing around she’s sitting still like a figure, every muscle in her petite frame tense as if someone was to attack her at any second. She spends more time outside with Sadaharu and doesn’t talk to him more than absolutely necessary. Instead of lounging in the common area she shuts herself in her closet whenever there’s no work to do.

What’s most worrying is that even when she does talk, her voice isn’t high and childish and enthusiastic, the inflection he’s learned she picks up whenever she feels happy and safe with people surrounding her. No, it’s this lower, more serious tone, something he’s lately heard only on the battlefield from her. It’s unsettling. The last time she talked to him like that was after she was still figuring out if he really wanted to abandon her when her Pops dropped out of the sky.

Gintoki’s never been good at this kind of stuff. So it’s no wonder that when he finally tries to figure out what’s happening it goes... less than ideal, let’s say.

„Oi, Kagura. Shouldn’t your period end ages ago, what’s wrong?”

„It’s your stupid face that should end ages ago,” she answers with no usual heat, stands up and shuts herself in her closet, leaving him cursing at himself under breath.

*

Admitting that he has no clue what he’s doing is definitely up there in Gintoki’s top 5 nightmares, but at this point he just wants things to go back to how they were. That’s why he’s sitting in the Shimura family’s dojo right now and lets out exaggerated sighs of distress whenever Shinpachi tries to strike out normal conversation.

„OK, that’s enough. Gin-san, what the hell do you want?” asks the boy, not even trying to hide his annoyance.

„I have no idea what you mean,” he starts, but then shakes his head and massages his nose bridge tiredly. „No, that’s not true. Look, it’s Kagura. Ever since we came back from Yoshiwara she hasn’t been herself and I have no clue what’s going on in that brat’s head.”

„And you think I know because?” There’s a nondescript glint in Shinpachi’s eyes.

„No need to rub it, four-eyes. But yeah, you seem to understand her feelings better than I do. And you were in Yoshiwara with her most of the time.” Gintoki lets down all pretences of propriety and just flops down on his back, his gaze fixed to the wooden ceiling. There are some spots there that could use repairs, huh. „I would assume it’s about that brother of hers, but she also didn’t seem all that surprised that he tried to kill her, and... I just don’t know how to start the conversation about it, man.”

Shinpachi sighs and picks up his already lukewarm tea. „I... I don’t think it’s only about that. Or rather, she’s not surprised that he was like he was, but she’s... she’s scared.”

„Kagura? Scared? You need to have a brain to be scared.” Gintoki scoffs at the thought.

„You’re really stupid if you still can’t understand her feelings after living with her for so long... You really are hopeless...” Shinpachi grinds his teeth, the urge to punch his idiot of a boss in the face evident in his voice. „Look, she’s less scared of Kamui right now and more that she is destined to end up like him. That’s the issue.”

„That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. Of course she won’t, she might be a brat but she’s not that much of a brat.”

„Gin-san... When you left us to fight that Yato. Something happened. But it’s not my place to tell. Just... talk to her without trying to be a smartass, or is that too hard for you?”

*

So he’s back to where he started from, except that he knows that mysterious something happened during the fight he didn’t witness. That still doesn’t exactly help, but well. Better than nothing, he supposes.

When he comes back home Kagura and Sadaharu aren’t there, so he has some time to lie down on the sofa and grumble to himself about how much of a pain in the ass this whole situation is. And that he should have never signed up for taking in teenage brats like that. And a lot of similar nonsense, until he hears the doors slide open.

When he raises his head he sees Kagura followed by Sadaharu, swaying a little. The first thing that catches his attention though are her hands, scraped raw and bleeding, and the fact that she seems unbothered by the torn tissue and broken skin. Just observes how the wounds close on her with a disinterested, cold look on her round face. It sends a chill down Gintoki’s spine. It makes him realize that no matter what’s happening, it’s definitely more serious than he signed up for.

„Oh. I thought you wouldn’t be home yet. Sorry,” he hears Kagura’s flat voice as she enters the bathroom and takes some toilet paper to remove the few drops of blood that have fallen on the floor. It’s unnerving how... unbothered she seems by any of the disturbing details of the whole scene.

„Oi. Kagura. C’mere,” he finally forces out and gestures at the sofa seat next to himself. 

„Why?”

„Just sit down, you brat,” he stands up, grabs her shoulder and sits her down in the spot where he has been lying down a minute ago. „Just... don’t move for a second.”

He takes the noncommital grunt from her as the agreement and rushes into the bathroom to frantically get some bandages and wet cloth and whatever else might be necessary. It’s only when he has an impressive heap of things built up in his arms that he goes back to her. Kagura hasn’t moved an inch, just looks at him with those eyes that don’t remind him of a summer sky anymore but rather of a mysteriously frozen ocean.

He sits down next to her and places a little bowl with warm water on the low table. „Give me your hands. Please,” he asks, his tone not as flippant as he would like. Good thing he doesn’t let her see the relief he feels when she complies and he can get down to gently removing all the dried blood and other gunk from her palms and fingers. It’s not long before the water in the bowl is as red as the clothes she tends to wear. „What the hell happened?” He asks finally when there’s only raw, scraped and torn tissue left and he starts delicately massaging one of those fancy healing lotions he got as a thanks for a successful job one of these days. „I’m trying to not make it hurt,” he says fast when he hears Kagura hiss in pain.

„It’s not necessary. I heal like a monster in the end, don’t I,” she shrugs and tries to remove her hands from Gintoki’s grip.

„I know you do, you moron, but this way it will be less ugly, okay?” He’s annoyed, yes, but more so he’s finally hundred percent sure that something is really, really wrong. „Just bear with me for a second. And tell me what happened.” Bandages take him the least amount of time, with all the experience he has acquired while getting stabbed and crushed and wounded in other ways during the years. „...Please.”

„I was just training,” she answers, incredulous. „I don’t get why you’re making such a fuss, Gin-chan.”

Gintoki closes his eyes for a second and takes a deep breath. This is the moment when he can’t afford to screw up again. „I talked with Shinpachi, and he said that something happened when you were fighting. Didn’t want to tell me what. And you haven’t been yourself since,” he finally says slowly. „You’re not joking around and you’re always quiet and you go out all the time apparently in order to hurt yourself...” He touches her arm lightly. „Please talk to me.”

„I don’t want to,” Kagura grumbles, but doesn’t shy away from physical contact. At least they’re doing this tiny amount of progress.

„Please, Kagura. You know I never ask so politely for things. Is it about Kamui? Something else?”

„...You will think you should have let Baldy take me away,” she says after a long pause, her voice so weak and tiny it makes his heart ache.

„That was a mistake I don’t plan to make again, silly girl. So?”

She shuffles in her seat, clearly uncomfortable with the idea. Even tries to pick at the bandage, which Gintoki stops by grabbing her hands again and lying them back on her knees, while still looking intently at her. What the hell could have made her so nervous and sad and scared? He can’t imagine.

She doesn’t answer, only digs her fingers into the fabric of her pants instead.

„Kagura-chaaaaan?” Gintoki tries again, elongating the syllables in a way that always annoys her so much. Maybe that will work. „Let’s start with what happened to your hands, hm?”

„...Training.”

”And what kind of training requires you to get your hands all ruined, moron? How are you gonna hold a spoon with your hands like that? You can forget about something like an umbrella.”

„...There was a house that needed to be demolished, so I helped out,” she shrugs and doesn’t look Gintoki in his eyes. „So I used it as training, it’s not a big deal. Oh also, here’s money, so you can shut up,” she drops a brown envelope on the table in front of her. „Can I leave now?” She starts to stand up.

Gintoki catches her by the undamaged part of her forearm and holds her in place, unsure how to proceed. He’s never been great at discussing feelings outside of some cool speeches made during battles, but this is not a sword fight; instead what he’s fighting is the shining orb of hurt that seems to permeate all of Kagura’s presence and he doesn’t know what to do. How to help. So he just asks, slowly, shakily. „And you didn’t use proper tools like a cavemen because?”

„...It wouldn’t hurt this way,” he hears finally, words so quiet that they almost escape him. Some of the tension seems to leave the girl’s body with this admission and she slumps back on the sofa, limp and somehow even more lifeless than before. Another thing that breaks his heart.

She looks so young like that, resigned and tired and small, and once again he catches himself wondering how exactly does Yato aging works, when she switches between acting like a happy child and someone much more battered and mature than a lot of her older peers. Is it a Yato thing? A consequence of the sum of her experiences? Which Kagura is the more real one? He doesn’t know. He doesn’t ask.

„Kagura. Kagura-chan. This is about Yoshiwara, right? What happened?” is what he asks again, because even if Shinpachi was annoyingly enigmatic this has to be connected, right? Right? There can’t be another additional issue here, just an avalanche of problems he overlooked, leading to a girl who relied on him to break and break and break. Right?

„So you really want to know, huh,” she sags even further and furrows her brows, as if trying to come to a decision. „I... I think you should just see it for yourself,” she says finally, after an eternity of suffocating silence. „There was some security footage and I asked Tsukuyo to copy it for me and delete that part from the records. As a favor. For, you know.” She stands up and goes to her closet, and removes a small disk from the inside of her pillow. „Should work with the TV. And, um, only Shinpachi saw. And that Yato we fought. And if he survived then Kamui knows, but that’s it.” 

Gintoki catches the disk when she throws it his way. He’s just glad that she started talking to him in longer sentences, even if her voice is hollow and hoarse. Progress is progress.

„Just don’t regret it later,” he hears as he enters the disk into the TV player. He answers with a nondescript grunt and sinks back to the couch as the security footage begins to play. When he glances at Kagura he sees that she isn’t watching herself, her head purposely turned away. There are red flower-like shapes blooming on the bandages around her fingers, awakened by how tightly she closes her fists. She looks so scared. He doesn’t understand.

He doesn’t ask. Just watches, as she asked him to. There’s nothing remarkable on the screen at first, at least he doesn’t see it; Shinpachi and Kagura facing the experienced Yato, Kagura holding her ground fairly well but in the end both of them getting a beating. „Is that what you’re so upset about? You think I never got beaten up bad before?” he asks with fake nonchalance.

„Just watch.” The answer is short and fast and harsh. Like a crack of a whip. 

So he watches. Then Shinpachi’s pinned up and Kagura’s pinned down and it all looks very desperate and painful indeed, but they’re both alive so they must have managed, right? „Look, he was more experienced and...”

„Just. Watch,” Kagura interrupts him, even harsher now. Colder, as if she threw a bucket of ice at his head.

So he watches. And when the Yato starts torturing Shinpachi he wants to make another wisecrack, because she probably feels guilty for not stopping it sooner and that’s it, right, and he can’t shut up for long, but he’s stopped by... something. It’s hard to explain, but even though the recording is silent, and the screen rather small, he can feel that something has changed even before anything indicates it. It’s like an electric current running down his spine, like the smell of ozone suddenly appearing in air. It makes him think of a deer realizing he’s surrounded by wolves even before he can see or smell them. It’s weird. And kinda scary, to be honest.

And then the dynamic on screen changes completely, Yato’s leg suddenly bursting with blood and Kagura standing up and starting to fight like he never saw her before, fast and brutal and efficient and unrelenting. Like a killing machine. He wants to comment on her progress but then her face shows up clearly on camera and even from the distance it’s clear that something has gone terribly wrong. The mirthless smile, the opened wide, unseeing eyes. The face brought to life by something snapping inside. A scary face indeed.

„I... I think that’s enough,” choked out sound brings him back to reality as Kagura jumps down the sofa and turns the TV off. Gintoki can’t help but notice how badly her hands are shaking.

„So. Now you know. I defeated him and then Shinpachi somehow brought me back,” she says, still crouched down in front of TV. Obviously not wanting to face Gintoki right now.

This is the moment when every word counts, he knows it and it scares him more than whatever it was that he saw on screen. „So you snapped because Shinpachi got hurt, hurt the guy in turn and Shinpachi calmed you down, do I get that right? That’s not so uncommon, silly, a lot of people would lose their cool in this situation,” he tries to laugh a little, but he doesn’t manage to hide his nerves as well as he would like to.

„I didn’t lose my cool, Gin-chan. I just... lost, period.” Her shoulders are shaking now as well. „I wanted to be so much better than Baldy and Kamui and the rest of the bunch, but I got tested once and I lost and I’m just like them!” Gintoki can hear a small sob hidden by her outburst and doesn’t comment on that. „Or... or even worse, because they’ve made all the wrong decisions but at least they were decisions, and I... I...”

Gintoki stands up from his couch and kneels next to Kagura, gently taking her shoulders and turning her to face him regardless of the glassiness of her eyes. „Kagura-chan. You snapped because Shinpachi was in pain. You said that Shinpachi brought you back. So you didn’t do anything wrong, right? You just wanted to protect your friend.” Please listen to me, is all he can think.

„But I wasn’t... I wasn’t thinking about it. It was just... very dark and quiet and I didn’t feel anything, Gin-chan, I wasn’t scared, I didn’t see Shinpachi, I didn’t feel pain, even,” she raises her hurt hands helplessly and a piece of a puzzle jumps in place. „What if he didn’t brought me back, what if I... what if I hurt him next?”

„But you didn’t. And that’s what matters, sillyhead.”

„And if it happens again?” Kagura’s voice is shaking even more now, and the whole cool facade she tried to keep in place is just gone. „If it happens again and it’s even worse?”

„Then we will bring you back again,” Gintoki opens his arms and pulls her into an embrace. Carefully, giving her every chance to back away. She doesn’t, so he just rests his chin on the top of her head and rubs her back in small, comforting circles. „And again. And again. As many times as you need us to.” A tighter squeeze is the assurance he can offer right now.

He feels tremors running through Kagura’s lithe frame and sighs inwardly, a bitter thought that most of the embraces she gets happen whenever she’s injured or in danger. It shouldn’t be like this, but somehow here they are. „That’s what friends are for, Kagura-chan. To bring you back and hold you down if you stray from your path. I made this promise with Zura. I will make it with you as well if that’s what you want. Hm?”

The girl nods and burrows herself into Gintoki’s chest, finally letting herself go and crying her heart out. It’s not a pretty, elegant cry that you would expect from a noble lady, but a good, proper wail, with tears drenching his kimono, full-body shivers and he’s fairly sure it will take some time to remove the snot from his clothes, but it’s fine. This is how it should have gone from the beginning.

„Gin-chan... Thank you...” Kagura sobs out weakly as she pushes herself away and looks at him with red face and swollen eyes after what feels like eternity.

„Don’t mention it, brat. You said it yourself,” Gintoki smiles and prostrates himself in a heroic pose. „Even if I am the last branch left, I won’t break off,” he says in an exaggerated tone, but then there’s a serious look in his eyes again. „We will make sure that you will stay yourself, Kagura-chan. As you did for me too.”

„You weren’t supposed to know about that... How the hell even...” she mutters, finally more annoyed and embarrassed than broken and sad and maybe everything will really be okay.

„Shinpachi might have told me about your cool little speech while he was yelling at me one day. It’s a good one, don’t worry,” Gintoki stands up and smiles at her brightly. „You will be after my job in a blink of an eye, it seems. I will buy you a parfait if you stand up and wash your face right this second.”

„It better be a big one!” Kagura allows him to pull her up carefully by her forearm, life slowly coming back into her eyes. Of course everything isn’t fine yet. It will take time. But Gintoki knows that at least they’re on the right track again, no matter how weird and full of detours it might be.

„It will be the biggest one of the bunch. Your salary should handle it,” he jokes and dodges a half-hearted kick directed at his rear.

Yes. It seems they’re gonna be okay, in the end.


End file.
